[the last voyages] ic inbox

[onlyhearmusic]

[a lyrical hum cuts in, almost as if someone didn't know what they were doing]

"Leave yer message."

[oh. no, he knew. he just didn't care. the beep comes after another brief humming stops.]

Comments

[onlyhearmusic]

Apology accepted. Ya did what ya had to.

[A small pause passes, and his voice drops in what might be considered a genuine emotion.]

I made a mistake. It was never goin' ta help and I should have taken a different route. [beat] And you were a poor choice of targets, fer more than one reason.

[atowncalledtreffy]

I shouldn't have left you alone. It was cowardly of me, and you're right. Wasn't personal, until I made it personal.

[onlyhearmusic]

Most people aren't so understandin' much less forgivin'. Death has a way of feelin' very personal. I get that a lot. People tellin' me that.

[atowncalledtreffy]

I can imagine.

But if you say it wasn't, then it wasn't.

[onlyhearmusic]

I'd say it was professional, but it wasn't that either. There's none of that here. No one wanted yer death--far from it, people are quite fond of ya, ya know that?

It was business to me at tha time. I wanted somethin' back that was taken from me. But tha one that took it isn't here. I can't hurt him. I couldn't get it back on my own, but I thought I could try. I wanted it ta work.

[atowncalledtreffy]

That's a surprise to me every day, honestly.

Yeah. I'm sorry.

[onlyhearmusic]

Somethin' magnetic about ya, lad. Or maybe it's just all tha weapons ya offer people. [He chuckled.] Yer reasonable. Grounded. That goes a long way.

Not yer fault. [...] It's back. Someone- John- It's back, but I can't test that it all sounds tha same. Not tha way I'm used to.

[atowncalledtreffy]

[He's not sure how to take genuine compliments, so he just shrugs and gives a non-committal nod]

Huh. You still under a curse?

[onlyhearmusic]

I suppose that's one way of lookin' at it.

Tha entity responsible snapped his fingers and stopped that music. Then I died.

[He hated to admit it, but he knew it was true now. There was no other explanation for what happened. Although... he doesn't really know the full extent of what happened since it was so sudden and very immediate. What he experienced was simply quiet and then he was dead two seconds later. The end.]

So that's how I came back here. Sans music.

[atowncalledtreffy]

Helluva thing. Dying after causing so much death.

[he says it not judgmentally but as his own observations to a fellow colleague in murder]

[onlyhearmusic]

[He honestly cannot tell if that is a joke or not. But his expression, and his tone, are wry nevertheless.]

I would say it's a natural conclusion but then- tch. Tha death wasn't natural, and neither is this afterlife nonsense.

[atowncalledtreffy]

[an actual shudder and a nod]

I fucking hate this ship in so many ways. How it treats death is a big one.

[onlyhearmusic]

Like it doesn't even matter. Or worse, like it's not acceptable. [Even if one wanted it.]

[atowncalledtreffy]

Yeah. Or that we're not afforded the choice to die for good, even to go to whatever hell is waiting.

...still. Bitching about it won't change it. Even if it feels good to say it.

[onlyhearmusic]

Exactly! That's exactly what I mean.

[He sighed.] I've heard that before. I hate it. Especially because it's not untrue.

[atowncalledtreffy]

Yeah.

When it gets to be too much...I'm glad some of us get it. This place is bad enough without half the ship insisting it's a force for good if you just ignore most of it.

[onlyhearmusic]

And how many is that really? How many on tha side of tha wardens? Because in my experience it's just tha inmates that consider this place blasphemous bullshite.

[atowncalledtreffy]

...Honestly, whoever I'm thinking of are people who used to be inmates. Lark, Ulla, Hilbert.

[onlyhearmusic]

[Funny how all those people are not exactly on Collins's favorites list. But he's not surprised that all of those people were once inmates themselves. (Knew it about most of them, but even if he hadn't, wouldn't be surprised to learn it.)]

Right. Of course. They know how much bullshite this all is. Of course, why you all linger is beyond me.

Why do you linger?

[atowncalledtreffy]

You want the long answer, the medium answer, or the short answer?

[onlyhearmusic]

Tha honest answer.

[atowncalledtreffy]

All three are honest.

[onlyhearmusic]

Yet which one conveys enough of tha story ta get it across at it's most important level. Hm?

[atowncalledtreffy]

I don't know.

I give different answers to a lot of different people here about that. Depends on the person; each answer is true, but it's more like...

...I wouldn't tell the sixteen-year-old inmate sitting in the infirmary that I stay because it's what my family fought and died doing for generations. Just as I wouldn't tell the thousand-year-old demigod with the chicken bone necklace that I stay because I want to murder the one who trapped him and others like him.

There are a lot of reasons why I do what I do. Some are acceptable to the listener and some aren't.

[onlyhearmusic]

I suppose that makes sense.

[He did catch and latch onto one point in particular. So he went after it like a dog spotting a bone to chew.]

Correct me if I heard wrong, but you want ta murder tha bastard that keeps us here? Is that one of tha reasons ya stay? Bidin' time fer that outcome.