onlyhearmusic | [the last voyages] ic inbox

Helluva thing. Dying after causing so much death.

[he says it not judgmentally but as his own observations to a fellow colleague in murder]

[He honestly cannot tell if that is a joke or not. But his expression, and his tone, are wry nevertheless.]

I would say it's a natural conclusion but then- tch. Tha death wasn't natural, and neither is this afterlife nonsense.

[an actual shudder and a nod]

I fucking hate this ship in so many ways. How it treats death is a big one.

Like it doesn't even matter. Or worse, like it's not acceptable. [Even if one wanted it.]

Yeah. Or that we're not afforded the choice to die for good, even to go to whatever hell is waiting.

...still. Bitching about it won't change it. Even if it feels good to say it.

Exactly! That's exactly what I mean.

[He sighed.] I've heard that before. I hate it. Especially because it's not untrue.

Yeah.

When it gets to be too much...I'm glad some of us get it. This place is bad enough without half the ship insisting it's a force for good if you just ignore most of it.

And how many is that really? How many on tha side of tha wardens? Because in my experience it's just tha inmates that consider this place blasphemous bullshite.

...Honestly, whoever I'm thinking of are people who used to be inmates. Lark, Ulla, Hilbert.

[Funny how all those people are not exactly on Collins's favorites list. But he's not surprised that all of those people were once inmates themselves. (Knew it about most of them, but even if he hadn't, wouldn't be surprised to learn it.)]

Right. Of course. They know how much bullshite this all is. Of course, why you all linger is beyond me.

Why do you linger?

You want the long answer, the medium answer, or the short answer?

Tha honest answer.

All three are honest.

Yet which one conveys enough of tha story ta get it across at it's most important level. Hm?

I don't know.

I give different answers to a lot of different people here about that. Depends on the person; each answer is true, but it's more like...

...I wouldn't tell the sixteen-year-old inmate sitting in the infirmary that I stay because it's what my family fought and died doing for generations. Just as I wouldn't tell the thousand-year-old demigod with the chicken bone necklace that I stay because I want to murder the one who trapped him and others like him.

There are a lot of reasons why I do what I do. Some are acceptable to the listener and some aren't.

I suppose that makes sense.

[He did catch and latch onto one point in particular. So he went after it like a dog spotting a bone to chew.]

Correct me if I heard wrong, but you want ta murder tha bastard that keeps us here? Is that one of tha reasons ya stay? Bidin' time fer that outcome.

I...do. I know that makes me a shit warden but he keeps me un-demoted so that's apparently fine with him too.

I think it makes you tha only right-minded warden on this vessel.

...Thanks.

The first deal I got, I asked for him to make himself present. Just for a few seconds, so I could see the thing that kidnapped me, and punch him in the face.

He refused, so I gave my deal to my inmate. Who asked for the same thing, and was also refused. So we apparently can wish entire worlds back to life, close portals to Hell, give ourselves tremendous powers, but god forbid we get a scratch on the Necromancer.

[Collins chuckled darkly, first in amusement but tapering off into annoyance. Not at Trevor, but the bastard "admiral" and the whole situation.]

God forbid indeed. It's tha least of what he deserves. Him and all tha things out there like him. [a pause, then:] It's going ta be a long wait ta get that punch or more onto tha bastard. And something of considerable power.

You've tha patience fer that?

[There's no bite or accusation to it, simply genuine curiosity what the other man thought. And perhaps an awaiting admiration for an affirmative answer. He liked the idea of killing the bastard "admiral" after all.]

Patience? Probably not, but determination and stubbornness? Yeah. And that can be the same thing in a different light.

And if I don't, well...I'll train the next generation who will. My family took five hundred years to kill something once. We can do it again.

I can admire that. [He chuckled lightly.] I like a man with drive and determination. It's more than most have.

Hmm, suppose that's one way ta go. Yer family most have been impressive ta continue a long line of warriors bent on killin' something so ancient.

So, yer determined ta stay here long enough ta get tha kill or teach tha next person in line ta make it happen. [He sighed.] I'd rather tha former, but something is better than nothin'.

Yeah. I'll stay until I'm removed or until there aren't any inmates here against their wills.

Well, I mean, why do you think we do inmate fight club? In case I get kicked off and have to train you fucks to carry on the legacy of murder.

...you would settle fer that, would you?

[No bite again, but there was less appeal to that outcome than death of the bastard in his mind. Revenge was a powerful motivator. It's what he wanted.]

Ah, well, it's not so hard ta commit murder. It's more hard ta do it right. And even harder ta kill something unnatural. [And by extension more powerful.]

Until there aren't any prisoners. That's the thing that pisses me off; that, and death not having much meaning.

Yeah. No shit. But the good news is we have plenty of time to practice.

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